“It makes me sad to see you running alone.”

 

For many years I ran through Morven Park in Leesburg, Virginia. A group of runners would invariably cross paths with me. We always exchanged greetings, “Good morning!’ - “Isn’t this a beautiful sunrise!” - “Have a great day!” 

One spring morning, our paths crossed again but this day a single runner in the group stopped and said, “It makes me sad to see you running alone.”
“What?” I laughed, “I am happy and I feel great.” Her response, “Are you sure?” Yes, I am sure.

On the extrovert-introvert continuum, I think that runner trended towards the “extrovert” portion. This, according to dictionary.com, means she’s probably “an outgoing, gregarious person who thrives in dynamic environments and seeks to maximize social engagement.” Perhaps running for her is, first and foremost, a social activity. And maybe she “can’t run without a group -– the camaraderie. What it was is that she wanted to be with people.”[1] Maybe seeing me running solo made her feel “sad” because running in her group made her feel so happy.

I definitely trend towards being an introvert but I have never thought, “It makes me sad to seeing you running in a group.” … until a few months ago, during the pandemic lockdown. Runners were specifically asked to forego group runs and run solo for the duration of the lockdown. However, group runs continued. 

Perhaps the group runners were all extroverts and, while introverts have experienced a lifetime of being forced out of their comfort zone into “team building exercises,” “group projects”, etc., extroverts are rarely asked to step outside their comfort zone into solitude. I felt “sad” the group runners were missing a unique opportunity to expand their comfort zone, to push themselves to experience running solo for a limited time without compromising who they are.

Without a doubt I prefer calm environments, small social engagements, and I most certainly embrace a greater than average preference for solitude. For me, “running is my meditation, mind flush, cosmic telephone, mood elevator and spiritual communion.”[2] When I run as an “extrovert” – in large events- I am not compromising who I am. I am simply moving forward, step-by-step, expanding my comfort zone. 

In running, and in life, there are many different ways to move forward. The purpose of life, Dr. George Sheehan[3] thought, was to discover what kind of body you have and what kind of person you are meant to be. Then, through running, fulfill your design. 

Whether your design trends towards extrovert or trends towards introvert, work with and expand it. Acknowledge that others are working with and expanding their own designs, too. The choice to run solo or in a group is a natural outcome of striving to fulfill our designs. Make this one life you have a work of art. 

“It makes me happy to see you running.” 

[1] Gill Schumaker:, started running group Team NorthShore in Chicago, IL

[2] Lorraine Moller: Olympic Marathon bronze medal winner and 1984 Boston Marathon winner.

[3] George A. Sheehan : a physician, senior athlete and author best known for his writings about the sport of running.