I am Boring!

At our wedding 39 years ago, someone said, “Your wedding is boring!”

It was true. We wanted to get married but didn’t have much money for a wedding, yet we felt obligated to do something. So we had a small church wedding followed by cake and punch in the church fellowship hall/gym. That’s right – it wasn’t a “destination," no band performed, no dancing, no meal, no open bar, and certainly no choreographed processional.

39 years later … I am still boring …

Recently someone tried to convince me that standing on a croquet court and occasionally tapping a wooden ball with a mallet, was “exercise.” I told her that I run and walk to which she exclaimed, “Oh my God! You are so boring!”

Out of spite, I was tempted to divulge the minutiae of my runs - heart rate, pace, mileage, race performances, favorite routes, etc. But I didn’t. Instead I told myself, “Be nice!”

So I simply smiled. She looked at me and said, with great vigor, “Well, I SWEAT when I play croquet!”

We live in Florida. You sweat while sitting on a shaded porch, under a fan, drinking ice tea. I smiled again and asked “How are your grandkids?” I think that was a nice, boring thing for me to do.

This proves it ... I am really, really boring!

A boring life like mine that can make you feel so much better about your own life. My boring life will remind you that your life is probably much more exciting than you realize, especially when you compare it with mine.

I haven’t been to a bar or restaurant since March 2020. We don’t even order out. My Home Ec teachers would be so proud of how I reawakened my culinary spirit. Plus, there is always a vegetarian “option” in my home and it never includes zucchini, okra, nor squash. In fact, all the options at “my restaurant” are vegetarian. I never have to “make do” with a wilted side salad or an order of greasy french fries.

Some people have told me that they need the “social stimulation” of a restaurant setting. Not me. For over a year now, my favorite Publix checker, Bonnie, and I have had the most stimulating, mask-muffled conversations. Bonnie always comments on my purchases - “Is this ginger ale any good?” - “Have you tried wasabi peas?” - “Save that jar. You can make into a terrarium.”

This ginger ale is EXCITING!  Try it.

I have no desire to go on a cruise. I like flying but I love boring flights full of boring people who follow the directions of flight attendants. On my next flight, which will probably be in 2022 (I hope!), a big, boring roll of duct tape is going in my carry on. As I board the aircraft I will show it to the flight attendants so they know I am willing to “get involved” and do my part to ensure we have a safe, boring, flight. If anyone decides they need to add some “excitement” at 35,000 feet - rrrrriiiiippppp!

Well, at least my daydreams are exciting!

Don't leave home without this "mummy maker."

I use Interlibrary Loan. How else can I get my hands on a 1948 copy of Copsford by Walter Murray? I read 3 books concurrently: 1 print, 1 e Book, and 1 audio book. My favorite social activity is my monthly book club meeting. We sit in a screened porch, wearing our handmade, 3-layer masks and discuss international fiction. We are bonafide bibliophiles! Even boring people have “tribes.”

I have never been to Disney World and I really don’t want to go there. Instead I “entertain” myself for free by volunteering ... at a local history museum ... transcribing National Archive records ... creating hundreds of children’s craft packets for Train Day. If you love Disney, go for it! Florida’s economy depends on you!

I have not watched a single episode of Game of Thrones nor Downton Abbey. When my dental hygienist starts to talk about her favorite episodes, I have nothing to say – and I can’t say anything anyway - but I try to look interested. I watch boring shows. I am on season 19 of the classic Time Team ... and I watch C-Span 1,2, and 3. I don’t think my dental hygienist has watched any of these shows. That’s good since I might try to comment on a favorite episode and end up with a polished tongue!

Snooze Alert! I enjoy genealogical research. I don’t just do the research, I create PowerPoint presentations for our family happy hours. And then, hang onto your hats, I convert those slides into narrated YouTube videos to share with my siblings. Are you still awake?

I use a “safe driver” app so I can get a discount on my auto insurance. Enough said.

While others are bemoaning how long it is taking to “get back to normal,” I delve deeper into the wonders of my boring life - and I thank God that I am not sitting on a plane while an impatient person is slugging it out with a flight attendant!

I may be boring but I am never bored. Nor am I unhappy because life has changed due to the pandemic. I can handle change. Plus, I agree with Bill Bryson: “The way I see it, there are three reasons never to be unhappy. First, you were born. This in itself is a remarkable achievement. Second, you are alive. For the tiniest moment in the span of eternity you have the miraculous privilege to exist. Third, you have plenty to eat and 'Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree' will never be number one again.”

Don’t you feel better now! Enjoy your wonderful, exciting life!

"If it's not fun, why do it?"

  

For the past two weeks I have forced myself to drink a small glass of kombucha everyday. I cringe, shiver, and gag whenever I drink it. The reason I am doing this is merely because I was told “it is good for you.” I don’t enjoy it, it is not a pleasurable experience. I don’t know how long I can keep this up! 

 

In our country, 33% of adults over age 20 have been told by their doctors to increase their physical activity because “it is good for you.” (1)

Certainly, there is compelling medical data supporting the doctors' directives, yet many Americans do NOT do what is “good for them.”

• only 53% of adults over age 18 meet the CDC’s Physical Activity Guidelines, (150 minutes of aerobic activity per week).
• At age 65 that percentage drops to 46%
• At age 75 it drops to 32%. (2)

Even when people spend money on expensive gym memberships they are still unable to do what “is good for them.” A 2018 survey of 5,313 American gym members were found that 63% of memberships go completely unused! (3)

Forcing yourself to do something merely because “it is good for you” is unsustainable, extremely unpleasant, and can be expensive. 

 

I agree with G. K. Chesterton, who wrote: 

Medical researchers have repeatedly documented “our necessities” – the physical needs and health benefits of exercise - but we get to choose how to accept them as “luxuries.”

If exercise is merely a “necessity,” then I would ride a stationary bike for X miles or X minutes while watching “Barney Miller” reruns. (😒boring!) But if exercise is a “luxury,” then I am going to choose a physical activity - running, walking, hiking, yoga, etc. - that I ENJOY, that I want to EXPERIENCE. 😀

My choice is running. During each run, I explore my community; greet people; appreciate sights, sounds, smells; think; and, many times, pause to take photographs. I enjoy what I am experiencing – it is a luxury! 

The psychological benefits of experiencing exercise as a luxury come from “learning how to enjoy our enjoyments.” And they are just as important as the physical benefits of exercise. These benefits became evident in a recent study of “awe walks.” In this study, 60 older adults went on weekly 15-minute outdoor “awe walks” for 8 weeks.

During these “awe walks,” physical exercise was not the focus. Instead, participants focused on the wonders around them and simply enjoyed their experience. They used their senses, took photographs and recorded the emotions they felt. At the end of the study, the “awe walk” participants had completed 14 hours of physical activity and, most importantly, reported greater increases in daily, positive emotions and greater decreases in daily distress. They “learned to enjoy their enjoyments!” (5)

 

If it wasn't fun, I wouldn't do it!

For me, participating in physical activities merely because they are “good for you” is boring and unsustainable. I run because it is an enjoyable luxury, an experience I look forward to everyday. The physical benefits are a bonus. 

Running is “good for me.”  👍👍

 

1. https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/66/wr/mm6642a11.htm
2. https://public.tableau.com/profile/nhis#!/vizhome/FIGURE7_2/Dashboard7_2
3. https://thehustle.co/gym-membership-cost
4. http://www.online-literature.com/chesterton/heretics/5/
5. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2020-69974-001?doi=1

Running Solo

I have always been an early morning, solo runner and I am remaining so during the Covid-19 pandemic. Obviously social distancing meant I shift my routes and running time to avoid other people. But even before social distancing, my solo running elicited basically the same three questions:

1. “You run alone? Aren’t you lonely?”
2. “Aren’t you afraid to run alone?”
3. “Isn’t running alone boring?”

1. “You run alone? Aren’t you lonely?” - No, I’m not lonely. Previously many people have suggested I join a running group, but I am an introvert. I choose to follow Susan Cain’s advice, “Don't think of introversion as something that needs to be cured...Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you're supposed to.”

I like running solo. I don’t feel lonely, I feel free to be who I really am. Smith, the runner in the novel The Loneliness of a Long Distance Runner, wasn’t lonely when he ran solo, he only felt lonely when he was forced to compete. He sums up my feelings about running solo. He said, “Sometimes I think I’ve never been as free as during the couple hours when I’m trotting up the path.”

2. “Aren’t you afraid to run alone?” - I appreciate the concern for me expressed in this question, but, no. To live your life is to risk your life. You’re never perfectly safe -- no human being ever was or ever will be. But you can control the things you have control over by being prepared.

Being prepared doesn’t mean living in fear, it simply means being aware of your surroundings and creating safer running situations. Here are a few ideas:

· Be knowledgeable – research your routes carefully keeping traffic flow, lighting and “comfort level” in mind. If a neighborhood doesn’t feel right to you, then choose another route.

· Be visible – run against traffic and wear reflective/illumination gear. Avoid running routes with tall vegetation or fences obscuring driveways. If a car is backing out, it won’t see you.

· Be confident – maintain an upright, not a slumped posture. Look passersby’s in the eye and greet them. If having pepper spray makes you feel more confident, take it. Put it in your palm and flash it as you wave to that guy that seems a little “creepy.” Also, completing a self-defense course really helped a friend of mine to start walking a solo mile every day, it might help you, too.

· Be aware –pay attention to what is going on around outside of you and inside of you (body, breath, & mind); avoid electronics, earbuds make you unaware, an attractive target for “bad guys.” Also, make someone else aware of your route before you head out.

· Take your phone – use an armband or waistband to hold your phone so it is available in case of an emergency.

3. “Isn’t running alone boring?” – I have never understood this question. The fact that you’re alive (and moving) is amazing, how can anything be “boring?”

You control whether running solo is boring or not! Here are a few very simple “boredom busters”:

• Look around. What do you see? – Interesting houses? A new business? Parks to explore? How many women versus men did you see running/walking? (Women win 9 out of 10 times). Look.
• Listen. What do you hear? - Voices? Machines? How many people do you greet with, “Good Morning?” What song or mantra is playing in your mind? Listen.
• And, most importantly- Let your mind wander. Here is a quote from Haruki Murakami that, I think, best describes my favorite “boredom buster”: “The thoughts that occur to me while I’m running are like clouds in the sky. Clouds of all different sizes. They come and they go, while the sky remains the same sky as always. The clouds are mere guests in the sky that pass away and vanish, leaving behind the sky.” Let your mind wander.

Thoreau wrote, “I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was as companionable as solitude.” During the greater part of my day, I truly enjoy the companionship of family, friends, and co-workers. But every morning I set aside time for the companionship of solitude – I run solo.

Recommended Reading:
The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner by Alan Sillitoe
A Philosophy of Walking by Frederic Gros
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain
Walden by Henry David Thoreau
What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami